Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
