Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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