in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
