Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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