I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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