I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this boner is exhausting
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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