im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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