Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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