Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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