and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This is the high leading the old right now
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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