Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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