Kiss
Puke
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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