every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
