And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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