I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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