i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
