did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
