If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
