I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
