I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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