Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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