Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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