My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
