Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize