I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
