I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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