Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I looked at my own cervix.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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