Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
