so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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