ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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