do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
