I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
