There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
