There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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