So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
