Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
