Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
