i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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