instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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