I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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