i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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