sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
