my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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