Screwed.edu
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
