Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
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