No awkward lesbian experiences without me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
