my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
