Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
