I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
