Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
