Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My vagina is officially offended.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
