4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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