dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
