My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
