This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
