I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize